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No, but there’s a fairly good chance it affected your cognitive functions.
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Okay great! Keep us updated and be sure to let us know when fuck-all happens.
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Great idea Elizabeth! Hell, why not tattoo your religious beliefs on your forehead too?
If only every superstitious moron would do this so the rest of us living with the benefits of 21st century scientific knowledge could avoid them at first sight like the plague.
As a sidenote, I’ve noticed a remarkable correlation between superstitious people and excessive/inappropriate use of ellipses and other punctuation. I don’t want to make any huge sweeping generalisations about superstitious and religious people. All I’ll say is, they all tend to be fairly illiterate. I’m just saying.
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Bible college - the more you get wrong the higher the marks.
(via @DamnedAtheist)
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I couldn’t have summed it up better myself.
By “no matter what happens”, I can only presume that means “despite all irrefutable evidence which proves that my blind faith is ridiculously stupid.”
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Steven, the reason “YOUR GOD” does not explicitly advocate using bombs to kill people is that the Bible, “the word of the Lord” was written by men with no knowledge of explosives (or any of the technological advancements of the last 2,000 years).
He does however advocate murder of young boys and the rape of young girls:
“Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man intimately. But all the girls who have not known man intimately, spare for yourselves.” (Numbers 31:17-18)
And the slaughter of nonbelievers:
“I tell you that to everyone who has, more shall be given, but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. But these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slay them in my presence.” (Luke 19:26-27)
In fact, “YOUR GOD” seems just as wrathful and blood thirsty as any god in human history:
“When the Lord YOUR GOD brings you into the land where you are entering to possess it, and clears away many nations before you, the Hittites and the Girgashites and the Amorites and the Canaanites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and stronger than you. And when the Lord YOUR GOD delivers them before you and you defeat them, then you shall utterly destroy them. You shall make no covenant with them and show no favor to them.” (Deutronomy 7:1-2)
“Do not think that I have come to send peace on earth. I did not come to send peace, but a sword. I am sent to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” (Matthew 10:34-35)
In conclusion, get down off your lofty steed. “YOUR GOD” is just a pathetic imaginary friend like Allah, Zeus, Apollo, Baal, Horus, Brahma or any of the other countless gods human beings have invented throughout the millenniums.
You’re a grown man, so grow up. It’s pathetic.
Finally Steven, minus 1000 internets for excessive use of capitalisation.
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Actually, Nikola Tesla was largely credited with the invention of the modern radio in 1892, so you should probably thank him. However he is dead so maybe you can ask your Family Radio station to pass on your appreciation… do they have radios in heaven?
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I’ll take a child molester in my neighbourhood over an overzealous, gun-toting vigilante soccer mum any day, thanks Raquel. Your kids are probably more at risk of being run over by your SUV.
It’s spelled “rapist” by the way.
Perhaps it’s time to get off that sex offender website and go do some ironing?
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Jenny, I think you should know that when you’re at your weekly NA meeting those Mexicans shove your toothbrush up their asses.
